I am sorry wordpress.com but I only choose you as my provider because this laptop won’t let me blog on xanga. I am very sad that geocities has closed 😦 I am upset that I am stuck with you wordpress. Good thing I am an optimistic individual. So I will test you out wordpress and I will give you a shot.


To see familiar faces, even when it’s only through pictures, brought feelings I have not felt in a very long time – pure wholeness.
It made me sad
It made me regret
It made me scared
It made me cry
It made me happy

I don’t care
I am doing it
I think I already have accepted the worst anyway
At this point, I’ve got nothing else to lose

For a chicken, I took whatever courage I do not have and sent her a message:
“Hi, how are you? It’s me. I hope you still remember me. I hope you don’t hate me. You look the same – still very beautiful! I miss you” – like that would make up for the things that I have done.

Why did I turn my back on them?
Why did I take the wrong turn?
Now I have no one but this blog to show my true weaknesses

Ironic or appropriate that I am listening to “I am my friend” by 3000 Realms as I wallow in sorrow

Am I being dramatic?
Am I just doing this to cry to put myself to sleep coz god knows I have sleeping problems
Wait, no, it’s neither
This one is real
I can feel the pain
It feels good
It helps
It teaches me who I truly am

Dear Jealousy,

I know you have been trying to get to me since the day I was born.
You will never get to me.
Nonetheless, I must admit, you’re affect on others has been driving me nuts lately!
Nuts! I tell you!
Must I, constantly, put myself down in order for your minions to feel better about themselves?

Currently watching “Rudy.” If you haven’t seen this movie, well, I would like to say that: you are missing out on a great great feel good movie! 🙂
There was a scene in the movie that reminded me of a college colleague: CF
As our relationship as classmates to friends to colleague – well, let’s rewind back to friends, I learned that he was: homeless.
That he lived behind the dumpster in the marketplace, while in college.
Right after learning about his situation, without hesitation, I offered him my other vehicle.
Here’s the sad part that hunts me once in a while:
I ended up not lending my vehicle 😦
-because I second guessed myself
-because I didn’t want to get in trouble with my parents
-because, because, because….!!! 😦

Due to my “norm defiant” personality, I admit, I missed out on many “popular tv shows.”
Such as; 1. Sex and the City 2. Desperate Housewives – pretty much it so far.
After finally watching these tv shows, I learned that I could’ve learned few things in life that could’ve saved me from some of the few mistakes that I made in life!
Of course, everything is not too late.
So, as I play catch up and caught up, I decided to start on a new popular tv show: 30 Rock.
I found the “pilot” to be very plain, common, and boring.
I was about to dismiss the show but I decided to give it another shot.
2nd episode was ok. I was able to sit through it because I can relate to Tina Fey’s character and humor.
I am now on 5th episode. So far the things that are keeping me from watching this show?:
1. 30 something humor
2. Yea, I can’t come up with another reason. That’s how interesting 30 rock is. LOL
3. Maybe I should check out “the office.” lol

To address the title: The thing that I learned from watching these tv shows?: “Most people do not have your best interest in mind.” -KBZ

-what is the state of nature of humans? Both? In this case, I think it’s because many people have been hurt. Their guards are so high. They are so fearful. As a result, they second guess themselves and subliminally make a bad decision or they’re just really bad. I supposed the state of nature of humans’ both?

-either way, I am screwed! I’ve always had it easy, thus; I am gullible.
-Learning how to be mean to survive is very difficult.

What have you learned from watching television?

I’ve been watching “Desperate Housewives” for the past 3 or 4 weeks.
I am currently on Season 5 Episode 14.
My favorite would be Season 4 Episode 7 titled “Bang.”

Initially I thought I am more like “Gabi” – Eva Longoria – physically and ditsynessny?????
Then somewhere between Season 1, 2, or 3 I started to think I am more like “Susan” – Teri Hatcher – coz I seem to be always happy and a definite klutz!
Now that I am on Season 5 I am starting to think that I am more like “Bree” – Marcia Cross – lifestyle, upbringing, and public persona???….

Due to the confusion, I took the following quizzes in hope of enlightenment – 🙂

1. According to: http://www.brainfall.com/results/which-desperate-housewives-character-are-you/
I am Lynette: “hard-working, responsible, and mature, but you are easily stressed-out and often feel trapped in your own life.”

2. According to: http://r.myyearbook.com/a4a0
I am Bree: You make everything perfect but sometimes it backfires

3. According to: http://www.quibblo.com/quiz/a7Z7Npf/Which-Desperate-Housewife-Are-You-2009
I am Susan:
You are the biggest drama junkie around. Everything sets you off emotionally (especially romance), and you just don’t know what to do with your complicated life.

4. According to: http://quizfarm.com/run.php/QuizRunner
I am Lynette: You Scored as Lynette
Fiesty and strong minded Lynette takes on a challenge and relishes it! Due to her independant nature she is somewhat lacking maternally but she’s always prepared to be there for her family.
Lynette 90%
Gabrielle 75%
Susan 60%
Bree 50%
Edie 10%

5. According to:
I am Bree: You are very family orientated and respectable and try to be the perfect housewife. You love cleaning and gardening and have many talents, you try to make everything perfect but it does not always go to plan. You can be a bit of a control freak and tend to have secret thoughts you keep to yourself. You’re Bree.

Dear happiness,

You and I have always had that very special and very strong pull with each other.
I thank you and I for that.